Summer Means Barreling Across Kansas With the Rock

     His human was shocked to see President Harpo of the Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation stir after a relaxing long winter's sleep that lasted all the way through spring.  After all, last year the President's hard slumber was broken only by the noise of the Humans' 4th of July festivities. 

     But the unconscious yet insidious lure of visiting more of the geological features and creatures of the Sunflower State caused our President to grant his human permission to chauffeur him around once more.  So far this June has been one of the best Exploring months Harpo has ever made.

     At first threatening skies made his human chauffeur blanch on the idea of heading out, but the iron determination of our President would not be denied by a little water.  So they get hit by lightning or washed away in a flood.  It is at these times, Harpo has long noted, that being mineral is a huge advantage!

     Heading south on U.S. Highway 281 in Osborne County, Kansas the President noticed their passing through a layer of Fort Hays Limestone.  "This country has good roots!" he observed. 

     Those humans inside the world-famous Garden of Eden in Lucas, Kansas were both surprised and thrilled to see the President of the RKR taking time out of his busy schedule to commune with their unique attraction.  Even he was struck dumb in astonishment at the way one enterprising human found to use rock, minerals, dirt, and - in other words - all things enjoyed by all members of the Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation.  The Garden itself had one request of Harpo:  to pass on to all humans to "wipe their feet more."

     Here's a rare site - the President grinning from ridge-to-ridge as he fulfills a personal fantasy and is allowed to become part of a human Art Car.  This particular Art Car belongs to Lucas artist Erika Nelson, whom among many other things is the director of The World's Largest Collection of the World's Smallest Versions of the World's Largest Things Traveling Roadside Attraction and Museum (say that fast three times!), recently named ONE OF THE TOP 15 ODDEST AND WACKIEST MUSEUMS IN THE WORLD by funkydowntown.com.  (Go to http://www.worldslargestthings.com/ for much, much more.)

     [GOSSIP ALERT:  Harpo later admitted to aides that he has a crush on the human Erika.  If only she was made of red granite.] 

     Our President finds human activities like art and most other things that humans do to be, well, simply beyond the comprehension of the average rock, and so absolutely fascinating to be part of.  He is either a true visionary or just off his rocker. 

     The President's motorcade then headed south on Kansas Highway 18 to Wilson Dam & Reservoir, where he paused to pay homage to the Post Rock Scenic Byway at the official information kiosk to be found at the western end of the dam.  "While Humans remain largely ignorant of the contributions that Rocks have made to the Great Human Equation," he orated during a brief address to the small gathering of dressed stones, "Strides, such as the naming of this Scenic Byway on behalf of such an illustrious formation of Rocks as yourselves, while small, still point toward the day when there will be a greater recognition of the inherent rights of all Rocks and thus better treatment for Rocks everywhere."

     As with all such meetings between rocks, the audience remained silent as they take the next eight to thirteen Human years to mull over the President's words.  Was he full of hot air?  His head full of rocks?  A true champion in the cause of Human/Rock relations?   The potential Sedimentary Party's Candidate for the year 5,623,108,721 Presidential elections?  Only time will tell. 

      [GOSSIP ALERT: Rolling Stone Magazine reports that recently the still-single and highly eligible President of the Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation seemed intrigued with a certain dressed stone of the Post Rock Clan.  She, however, was already cemented into a relationship with several other fellow Clan members, and proved further to have a heart of stone in declining his invitation to "sit around."] 

The Human concept of the word "lake" was completely lost on the President as he stared out over the expanse of Wilson Reservoir.  Drops of water falling out of the sky or rushing past in a small stream he had had experience with, but gathering together a single mass of water for no visible purpose known to rocks . . . humans really are odd.

   The accents of the rocks that make up this fine Veteran's Monument in Wilson, Kansas showed them to be partly of Igneous descent.  Still, our President still managed to convey his traditional First Contact Speech Used In Meeting New Rocks in a manner that all understood.

                                      PRESIDENT:  "hi."

                                      ALIEN ROCKS:  "zzzz . . . wah-?" 

                                      PRESIDENT:  "rock too."

                                      ALIEN ROCKS:  "you??"

                                      PRESIDENT:  "yup."

                                      ALIEN ROCKS:  "huh."

                                      PRESIDENT:  "dust good."

                                      ALIEN ROCKS:  "yup."

                                      PRESIDENT:  "zzzzz . . . ."

                                      ALIEN ROCKS:  "zzzzz . . . ."

     It appears that all politicians, from whatever the persuation, are just naturally darn windy.

     It was an official nominee for the 8 Wonders of Kansas Customs.  It is Millers of Claflin, the giant furniture store now in its second century of doing business and comprising literally of several blocks of buildings in downtown Claflin, Kansas - a central Kansas community with  a population this side of a thousand people.  The President tried to absorb the sight and to understand the human concepts of space, retail, money, and something called whimsy.  He really tried.  Still, he encourages all Humans to come and see this one-of-a-kind spectacle - and to buy stamps at the local post office.

    

     [GOSSIP ALERT:  The President's motorcade made its way into eastern Kansas and to Burlingame, a former stop on the legendary Santa Fe Trail.  It was there that our President publicly gave into his well-known weakness for Red Granite Babes and talked this well-dressed rural beauty into having a photograph taken with him.  The ensuing nowhere-near-a-scandal soon broke and the photo quickly graced the covers of rock-oriented fanzines around the world such as This Rock, Crawdaddy!, Kerrang, and Revolver.   This in turn has given Burlingame yet another tourist slogan:  Home of the Red Granite Girl.] 

     [GOSSIP ALERT:  Not long afterwards the President found himself with yet another of the Sunflower State's legendary Red Granite Babes, this time in Council Grove, Kansas.  Completely enamored with the tall lovely young hunk, he first attempted to woo her with one of his favorite Brooks & Dunn songs, then switched with increasing desperation to selections ranging from Def Leppard to Bill Haley and even Eric Carmen.  True to her foundations, she maintained a lofty silent disregard for his plaintiff warblings and was rock solid in her refusal to leave her designated post, as set by the Daughters of the Revolution in 1906.] 

     Heartbroken, our President can be seen sitting in front of the remains of Council Oak, at the foot of which the treaty that opened the Santa Fe Trail to human traverse was agreed upon in 1825.   This stump is all that is left of the town's namesake grove of trees.  In the spring of 2010 Council Grove was named a finalist for the 8 Wonders of Kansas History contest.  

     With calcite and iron running through his version of veins, the President soon recovered enough to continue with his Official Visit. 

      The other great tree landmark (we choose to ignore Custer Elm - sorry) in Council Grove is the Post Office Oak, which for a time was used as an actual deposit site for letters from travelers to and fro on the Santa Fe Trail.  The President reported that the ancient Oak actually has a number of humorous anecdotes about the early days of the town.  Unfortunately most of them are totally unfunny except to trees, who have a decidedly warped sense of humor when compared to humans or even rocks. 

     Newest among the city's many monuments is this statue of a Kaw Indian brave, created by Kansas sculptor Mark Sampsel.  It stands at the head of the town's Riverwalk, which crosses the Neosho River at the same point as the original Santa Fe Trail once did.

     Council Grove's venerable Madonna of the Trail Monument was the one thing that truly awed our President.  How does a rock grow into such a shape?  He was really impressed.

     While the President's human was trying to find the answers to life's persistent questions at the Morris County Historical Society, Harpo idled away the hours sitting around and communing with this lesser-known Council Grove historical marker, denoting the 100th anniversary of the first Pack Train to traverse what became the Santa Fe Trail.

     The summer has just started and our President and his Human are out there somewhere, traveling the byways and backroads of the Sunflower State seeking to Explore all there is to be Explored.  Watch for them soon near you!

From Enslaved Rock Posts to Piggy Bank Monuments - January 18-20, 2010

When Harpo, the Rural Kansas 'Rocks' Foundation President, found out that his human was invited to attend a Rural Leaders Retreat in Valley Falls, Kansas, he thought about it for a couple of months and then gave his permission for his human to venture out into Northeast Kansas - as long as he could come too and continue his mission to visit the various geologic features to be found in Rural Kansas. 

So on Monday, January 18th, the President settled comfortably into his padded traveling box in the car trunk and let his human and three of its friends (one must pamper one's human at times to ensure its continued good health, and letting it have playmates seems to do the trick) drive east from the home office in Osborne through Lucas along State Highway 18.

After a comfortable 55-mile ride from Osborne the Foundation President stopped to draw attention to the plight of the enslaved Post Rock Limestone posts being forced to hold up human historical markers in Kansas.  Oh, yes, and also to allow his human to contemplate the history of the initial interaction between Native Americans and enroaching American settlers in the 1860s, as this state marker recounts in eastern Lincoln County on State Highway 18.

                          

Here the Foundation President can be seen helping his human and others search for a geocache in the bandstand in the City Park down the road in Tescott, Ottawa County, Kansas.   The sandstone he encountered here seemed happy enough, with few serious concerns.  Then it was back in the trunk for another comfortable ride.

In the city of Concordia our fearless President joined his human in viewing the Longest Sculpted Brick Mural in the United States.   This amazing artwork was completed in 2009 and fronts the Cloud County Museum Annex and Cloud County Tourism Office.

Inside the President signed the Guest Register Book, becoming no doubt the first visiting rock to do so.

The President then toured several of the exhibits inside, including this excellent soda foundation setup.

Weighing in at his usual 35 pounds of solid, well, rock, the President's reading stated that he was solid of character and his future was equally stolid. 

Impressed with all that he saw, the President exibited nearly visible excitement at the chance to buy his own pet rock.  Painted on the limestone piece is a rendition of the guard tower of the former Camp Concordia World War II-era prisoner-of-war camp.  The Tourism Office has an excellent gift store for Kansas products.

On to the north the President checked out the Boyer Museum of Animated Carvings in Belleville.  Nominated for the 8 Wonders of Kansas Customs, the museum is home to over 50 handcarved, mechanized motion sculptures that Paul Boyer has created over the past 25+ years. 

Harpo's own native magnetism showed when one of Paul's daughters came out to the car trunk and was completely fascinated by him.  Harpo is still grinning.  Never underestimate the inexplicable draw between humans and rocks! 

After a long afternoon and night of rest in the trunk the President came out for a rare opportunity:  the chance to commune with the Italian marble used to create the Davis Memorial (a nominee for the Overall 8 Wonders of Kansas) in Hiawatha's Mount Hope Cemetery. 

Unfortunately, so much snow had fallen over the past month that the entrance to the cemetery was still blocked with a mound of snow and the gates were locked.  In the photo above the President looks forlornly at the Memorial, seen in the distance at left background.

Shaking off the disappointment of the last stop, the President ventured out once more to discuss local issues with the rocks comprising the Wilbur Chapman Monument in White Cloud, Kansas.  This monuments commemorates 10-year old Wilbur, who in 1910 sold his prized pig Pete to raise money for a leper colony.  This act was celebrated nationwide and inspired the idea of using Piggy Banks to keep money in.

All the exertion of moving around the past two days had taken their toll on the President, and he spent another day and night hanging out in the car trunk.  However, on the last day of his human's Retreat Harpo snuck into the final session at the Barn Bed & Breakfast, fulfilling one of the annual requirements of every rock to belong to the RKRF: to attend annually at least one tourist organization meeting, to use the human term.  Admittedly Harpo still considers human gatherings to be unbelievably noisy with great waste of energy for motion.  His observation is that they really need to curtail their fascination with sugar gliders and five-hour energy drink. 

The session done and the Retreat over, the President allowed his human to bundle him up once more.  He slept the long trek back home with the knowledge that Kansas geology is both varied and well worth taking the time to get to know better.

8 Wonders of Kansas Geography Nominee: Mount Sunflower

At elevation 4,039 feet above sea level, Mount Sunflower in western Wallace County is the highest point in Kansas.  Recently it was named one of the finalists for the 8 Wonders of Kansas Geography.  The Foundation President can be seen in this August 2004 photo at his moment of triumph in conquering this unique mountain/peak/hill/pasture/point/landmark.  To vote for the Geography finalists online go to http://www.kansassampler.org/8wonders/.

The Highest Peaks in Kansas

Following up an a recent suggestion the Foundation President instructed his human to get online and check out a website entitled "mountainzone.com."  This website actually lists all the "mountains" to be found in every state of the Union, gving both GPS other information on each "mountain peak and summit."

The real fun is looking at the list for the 50 Highest Peaks of Kansas.  Mount Sunflower in Wallace County is an obvious Number One, but the shocker is that no less than three - count 'em, three - summits from Osborne County made the list!  They are Round Mound (No. 33); Sand Mound (No. 34); and Medicine Peak (No. 44).

So check it out at http://www.mountainzone.com/mountains/highest-peaks.asp?s=KS.

Mountain peaks and summits in Kansas.  Try to call us flat now!!!

Time to Vote as the 24 Nominees for the 8 Wonders of Kansas Geography Announced

Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation President Harpo was one of the attendees at today's 8 Wonders of Kansas Geography 24 nominees announcement, held at "The Barn" headquarters of the Kansas Sampler Foundation near Inman, Kansas.

The list represents sites from across the Sunflower State - including literally all four corners - and certainly go a long way to dispelling the myth that Kansas flat and boring.

The names of the Geography finalists are part of an ongoing series of nine similiar contests encouraging people to express their opinions of  what they treasure most about Kansas.

A selection committee chose these 24 finalists from a list of 76 public nominations.  The criteria for each finalist was that it has to do with nature and is unique.

People have until midnight February 17, 2010 to vote for their top picks at www.8wonders.org.  Paper ballots can be picked up at one of the finalists or by calling 620-585-2374.  One e-mail address may be used three times to vote.  The public's vote will determine the Top 8 Wonders of Kansas Geography.

Following are the 24 finalists, in alphabetical order:

* Alcove Spring, near Blue Rapids in Marshall County, was chosen because of its historical significance as a stop for Indians, fur traders and emigrants on the Oregon Trail. Visitors can still see the wagon ruts, an intermittent waterfall and a long-flowing spring.

* The Arikaree Breaks of Cheyenne County are known for dramatic steep-sided, rugged canyons and sweeping vistas of short-grass prairie.

* Bartlett Arboretum at Belle Plaine in Sumner County is the oldest arboretum between the Mississippi River and the Rockies, with hundreds of species of native and exotic trees. It features both formal and natural gardens.

* Big Basin Prairie Preserve in Clark County includes a mile-wide sinkhole, a bison herd and St. Jacob's Well, a deep, funnel-shaped spring.

* The Brenham Meteorites, near Haviland in Kiowa County. Scientists estimate a meteor fell over Kiowa County some 20,000 years ago, forming the largest strewn meteorite field in the world and one of three U.S. craters authenticated by the presence of meteorites. As the meteor fell, it broke into pieces. The Brenham meteorites, named for Brenham Township near Haviland, are some of the best known and most sought after in the world because of their crystals, which look like stained glass when cut.

* Cimarron National Grassland in Morton County is known for its early pioneering advancements in conservation. It contains the longest publicly owned section of the historic Santa Fe Trail and the only known outcrop of Jurassic-age rocks, thought to be 150 million years old, in Kansas.

* Coronado Heights near Lindsborg in McPherson County is not only a historic landmark but a natural platform of Dakota Formation sandstone. It features a scenic overlook of the Smoky Hills and Smoky Hill River Valley.

* Cross Timbers State Park, near Toronto in Woodson County, features an ancient forest ecosystem and rugged sandstone-capped hills.

* Elk River Hiking Trail, Montgomery County, is a 15-mile-long national recreation trail on the edge of the Chautauqua Hills region. The trail threads through boulders and up rocky bluffs and has been rated the best hike in the state.

* The Four-State Lookout, at White Cloud in Doniphan County, offers a view of Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska and Iowa from a viewing platform. Views include glacial hills and the Missouri River.

* The Geographic Center of the Contiguous United States, near Lebanon in Smith County, is a small park that represents the center of the 48 contiguous states.

* The Gyp Hills Scenic Drive and Gypsum Hills Scenic Byway, in Barber and Comanche counties, are known for their stunning rust-red buttes and mesa capped by layers of sparkling white gypsum.

* Kaw Point Park in Kansas City, Wyandotte County, is a public park commemorating the Lewis and Clark Expedition that stopped there in 1804. It features a view of the confluence of the Kansas and Missouri rivers and the Kansas City skyline.

* Konza Prairie, near Manhattan in Riley County, is an internationally recognized research site for tallgrass prairie ecology and has trails for public hiking through the Flint Hills.

* Lake Scott State Park, Scott County, features springs, canyons and bluffs amid the western Kansas prairie. A 100-acre spring-fed lake lies in Ladder Creek Canyon. The park is also known for its craggy canyons, scenic overlooks and historic connections with the El Cuartelejo Pueblo Indian ruins.

* Maxwell Wildlife Refuge, near Canton in McPherson County, is known for its prairie and for being the only place in Kansas where the public buffalo and elk can be viewed in their natural habitat by the public.

* Mined Land Wildlife Area, Cherokee County, was once stripped for lead and zinc mining but has since been reclaimed and now features woodlands, grasslands and lakes.

* Mount Sunflower, Wallace County, has been recognized by the U.S. Geological Survey as the spot with the highest elevation in Kansas — 4,039 feet above sea level. It provides vistas of the high plains and the short-grass prairie.

* Mushroom Rock State Park, Ellsworth County, and Rock City , near Minneapolis in Ottawa County, both showcase rare Dakota Sandstone formations deposited 100 million years ago and since exposed by the forces of erosion.

* Native Stone Scenic Byway, Wabaunsee & Shawnee Counties, features an area known for dry stacked stone fences and stone outcropping among the rolling Flint Hills.

* Pillsbury Crossing, near Manhattan in Riley County, features a flat, stone creek bottom that forms a natural ford and a long, broad waterfall that has been a landmark for generations.

* The Post Rock Scenic Byway of Ellsworth, Lincoln and Russell Counties, is known for dramatic limestone outcroppings along K-232, the rugged Dakota Sandstone bluffs at Lake Wilson, and the long post rock fence rows. It's in the Smoky Hills and anchored by the towns of Wilson and Lucas.

* Schermerhorn Park, near Galena in Cherokee County, represents the small part of the Ozarks that extends into Kansas, including steep bluffs of Mississippian-age limestone, a 2,500-foot-long cave, WPA-era stone terraces, hiking trails and a nature center.

* Fort Hays State University's Sternberg Museum of Natural History, at Hays in Ellis County, features the fossils of Kansas: fossilized remains of giant fishes and marine reptiles. The fossils are some of the best, most scientifically important evidence that Kansas was under water during the last half of the Cretaceous Period, more than 66 million years ago.

An Official Member of the Kansas Explorers Club

                         

Today Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation President Harpo received in the mail his 2010 Kansas Explorers Club membership card, with his official Explorer Number - No. 5378.  As usual, he was at a loss for words.  Such a softy.

Granite Meets Concretion, 2005

In recent years January has become the time that the Foundation President has made an annual swing through the northeast part of the Sunflower State.  Back in 2005 he made contact with two of the state's more interesting boulders - literally.

January 17, 2005 - An excellent day of lying around and exchanging glacial anecdotes with the granite Founders Rock in Robinson Park, Lawrence, Kansas.

January 18, 2005 - A red letter day in the history of the geology and geography of Kansas.  Our esteemed president sits on the McLouth Boulder until finally it agrees to serve as a member of the Board of Directors of the Rural Kansas "Rocks" Foundation, a position it now refuses to budge from. 

The granite boulder, left behind when the last ice sheet withdrew from Northeast Kansas, can be found right in the middle of what is now Granite Street in the city of McLouth, Kansas.  The citizens there once tried to remove the boulder, but gave up and instead just paved the street around it.  A must see for all Kansas Explorers!

January 19, 2005 - The Foundation President caught partying a little too hardy during a two-day Rural Leaders Retreat at the Barn Bed & Breakfast at Valley Fall, Kansas.  The Experts are still divided over whether rocks can actually acquire a hangover.  If so, then it should take Harpo literally years to shake off the effects.  Perhaps "shake" is the wrong word.  At any rate, it would explain the eternal glower amid his usual sunny disposition. 

Just part of the price of existing in the human world.